ইন্টারনেটের মাধ্যমে কানাডা প্রবাসী এক বাঙালী যুবকের সাথে আলাপ হলো। বিয়ের জন্য ইংরেজিতে পারদর্শী বাঙালী নারী খোঁজ করছিলেন। তিনি বাবা-মা সহ কম বয়সেই দেশ ত্যাগ করেন এবং তখন থেকেই প্রবাসে আছেন। বাঙালী নারী বিয়ে করার প্রতি তার আগ্রহ দেখে আলাপ করবার ইচ্ছে হলো। তার ঠিকানায় ইমেইল করলে সাড়া দিলেন। আমি মূলত বাঙালী নারী বিয়ের ব্যপারে তার আগ্রহ, তার লাইফ স্টাইল, কোন ধরনের মেয়ে তিনি পছন্দ করেন এবং বিশেষ করে তার ধর্ম-বিশ্বাস সম্পর্কে জানতে চেয়েছিলাম।

প্রবাসীদের মধ্যে বিশ্বাসী মানুষের অভাব নেই। প্রবাসে এমনও অনেক পরিবার আছে যারা অত্যন্ত ধর্মিষ্ঠ। শুধু যে ভালবাসেন তা নয়, ধর্মীয় বিধান সাধ্যমত অনুসরণও করেন। তেমনি সংখ্যায় নগন্য হলেও ধর্ম সম্পর্কে ভুল ধারনা বা বিদেশের রঙীন জীবনের হাতছানিতে কিছু প্রবাসী যে অবিশ্বাসীদের দলে ভিড়ে যাচ্ছে না, তা নয়। দীর্ঘ দিন প্রবাসে কাটালেও অনেক বাবা-মা সন্তানদের দেশেই বিয়ে দিতে চান এবং এরূপ চাওয়াটা অস্বাভাবিক নয়। দেশে হোক বা বিদেশেই হোক বিয়ের আগে সাধ্যমত খোঁজ খবর নেয়া দরকার। প্রবাসী, বিশেষ করে কানাডা বা আমেরিকায় বসবাসরত মুসলিম ঘরের সন্তান দেখলেই কোন অভিভাবকেরই যে ঝট করে ছেলে- মেয়ের বিয়ের ব্যপারে সিদ্ধান্ত নেয়া ঠিক নয়, তা বেশ বুঝতে পারলাম। অভিজ্ঞতাটা ভবিষ্যতে আমারও কাজে লাগতে পারে। দেশে খোঁজ খবর নেয়া কিছুটা সহজ। কিন্তু প্রবাসীদের বিষয়ে জানা বেশ কঠিন এবং সময় সাপেক্ষ। কথা বার্তায় যতই বড় মনের ভাব দেখাক না কেন, কোন মুসলিম পরিবারের পাত্র/পাত্রী ইসলাম ধর্ম সম্পর্কে কটুক্তি বা অনীহা প্রকাশ করা মানেই ধরে নিতে হবে "ডাল মে কুছ কালা হায়"। অনেক সময়ই দেখা যায় বিদেশের ফ্রী-স্টাইল লিভিং এর বিরুদ্ধে ইসলামের বাধ্য বাধকতাকে তারা মেনে নিতে পারেন না। মূলত বিদেশের বিলাস বহুল ও ফ্রি জীবন যাপনের প্রতি মোহের কারনে ইসলামী অনুশাসনকে উঠতি বয়সের অনেকেই এড়িয়ে চলতে চান। তাই অনেক বিষয় মিললেও প্রবাসীদের সাথে সন্তান বিয়ে দেবার আগে পরিবারের সদস্য ছাড়াও পাত্র/পাত্রীর নিজস্ব ধর্ম বিশ্বাস সম্পর্কে খোঁজ খবর নেয়ার বিষয়টি হালকাভাবে না নিয়ে গুরুত্বের সাথে দেখা উচিত। তা না হলে হয়ত সামান্য একটি ভুলই ভবিষ্যতে বড় অশান্তির কারন হয়ে দাঁড়াতে পারে।

কানাডা প্রবাসী যুবকটি বাংলা তেমন একটা জানেন না, তাই ইংরেজিতেই আলাপচারিতা হয়েছিল। তার চিন্তাধারা আমার কাছে বেশ ইন্টারেস্টিং লেগেছে। তার নাম, ঠিকানা ও পরিচয়ের সাথে সম্পর্কিত তথ্যগুলো গোপন রেখে যেভাবে কথা হয়েছে হুবহু তুলে ধরলাম। ইংরেজিতে লেখার অভ্যাস নেই বললেই চলে। তারপরও যা বোঝাতে চেয়েছি আশাকরি সেই মনের ভাবটুকু বুঝে নিতে পারবেন-

Assalamu-alykum-
I have come to know via internet that you are residing in Canada & interested to marry a Bangladeshi young girl. If you have no objection, I am interested to exchange views about the reason of your choice. Please tell me in short about your life style & expectation about your partner of life. Especially I also want to know about your religious faith & thought.

Regards
Dr. M
Dhaka, Bangladesh
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His reply

Hello Sir,
I am S and living in Canada.

It is the interest of my family (mainly my Mom), Uncle and Grandma that I marry a Bangladeshi Girl. I cannot fully explain their intent but feel free to ask them. I am going along with the decision because I respect them greatly.

Full Name: S…….A.
Date of Birth: ,,, November 19… (offcially) - Unofficially … November 19…
Place of Birth: Dhaka, Bangladesh
Place of Residence: H. Canada
Height: 5'6.5"
Complexion: Dark
Education: Business Administration, Advanced Diploma,

Occupation: Student & Part-Time Job

I live in an apartment without my parents. My life style is quite simple also looking for someone like that. In case of my character, nature, conduct, and behavior, one would have to find that out by talking to me as just mere words cannot define a person. I'm planning on becoming an Entrepreneur in the food industry. Religion wise, I am an Atheist (don't believe in the existence of any form of God, Satan, Deity, or Religious Figure).

If you have any question, do not hesitate of ask. Please.

Regards,
S
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My reply

Hello Mr. S,

Thank you for prompt reply. According to your short description I can guess that you are a good man.

But you are an Atheist (don't believe in the existence of any form of God, Satan, Deity, or Religious Figure). I know that Atheism is not a religion; it is a kind of belief against our Creator (Allah). I don't want to pester you by asking any more about your wish as an Atheist.

I am a believer, my dear. I can't think a moment of my life without Allah (creator). I & all of my family members are the followers (practicing or non-practicing) of the religion of peace & humanity- Islam.

I am interested to know about the religious view of your other family members.

I don’t know about your proficiency in Bengali language. Can you read, write or speak in Bengali?

If you have any question, do not hesitate to ask. Please.

Wish you good luck.

Regards,
Dr. M
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His reply

Hello Sir,
Thank you for the reply.

All other family members, maternal and paternal, are Muslims either practicing or non-practicing.

I can speak Bengali a little bit but not enough to have any kind of serious discussion. In Bangladeshi standards, I speak at a level of standard 2 or 3. As

I never really studied in the Bengali language, I can hardly read or write. I am fully proficient in English. I can also speak some of Hindi and Urdu. I have a future plan to learn French.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

Regards,
S
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My reply

Hello Mr. S,
Thank you for the reply.

You said, "All other family members, maternal and paternal, are Muslims"

You also said that you are going along with the decision about your marriage because you respect them greatly.

So my curiosity is to know, why are you in quite opposite views in case of religious decision?

You said that you never really studied in the Bengali language & can hardly read or write.

So I want to know, have you any idea or interest about Bengali literature & can you understand Bengali poems or articles?

Please feel free to ask any questions.

Good wishes to you-

Regards,
Dr M
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His reply

Hello Sir,
Thank you for the reply.

The reason for the opposite views.

I am Legally Blind. I lost my eye sight about 6 years back. When I was in the process of losing my eye sight, everyone around me told me that pray to God (Allah) and your sight will be back. Everyone also said the following:

1. God/Allah does this to put good people through hardships to test their belief.

2. God/Allah only does these kind of things to people who he loves.

3. God/Allah is punishing you for the sins you have done. And more
After hearing all these 6 years back, I did the 5 times pray every day for weeks. Then read the Qur'an for months. Even after all that my eye sight did not return. And finally after all that about 3 years I gave the that belief and became an Atheist. It was not any form of teenage rebellion as most like to call it. I had done plenty of research and arrived at my current beliefs.

About Bengali Language, Culture and Literature.
Though I born in Bangladesh I spent most of time outside. I was in Bangladesh since birth up to 5 years, then 2 years in Qatar, then 3 years in Bangladesh, then 4.5 years in Qatar, then 9 months in Bangladesh, then 3 months in India and then finally in Canada for the last 5 years. When in Qatar I went to Indian English Medium School. So I did not get much opportunity to get integrated in Bangladeshi Cultural aspects. As for Bangladeshi Literature (Poems, Articles, etc.) I can read very little because 1) My eye sight loss does not permit me to read anything that intricate, 2) My Bengali education in only up to Grade 2. From whatever I can read, it does not make any sense to me as don't understand it. As for the interest in Bangladeshi Literature, I don't have any. It is because I will be living in Canada for the rest of my life and so will most of my future generations to come. I am a very practical person, therefore, I do not find to any use of the Bangladeshi Literature here. I have a plan to visit Bangladesh but that's it visit not learn Literature or anything of that sort.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

Regards,
S
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My reply

Hello Mr. S,
Thank you for the reply.

You said that you are Legally Blind.

Does that mean that you are not blind physically, but your mind is blind about the belief of Allah (God)?

Only 5 times pray every day for weeks & read the Qur'an for months is not Islam.

Only reading is not sufficient to belief in Allah. You have to understand the meaning of reading the Qur’an.

You said that you had done plenty of research and arrived at your current beliefs.

What kind of researches you had done?

Please mention, which verses of Holy Qur’an you dislike most?

Don’t mind, my dear. I don’t want to teach you or I have no intention to dishonor your belief.

I also had done & still doing researches & by turn my religious belief is increasing gradually.

I am not so proficient in English. If you feel free, I am interested to discuss about this matter at my label best yet. Otherwise you can stop.

Professionally I am a medical doctor & very much practical at my working place. But according to me only a practical mind can’t be happy & peaceful all the time.

I am logical also, but I don’t want to cross the infinite by my finite mind. I always try to understand the truth.

I believe that a true religion is always for human being & humanity. All the verses of the Qur’an full fill those criteria in all aspects of life. That Glorious Holy Qur’an is the fundamental source of Islam. All the other vague ideas in the name of Islam are not true Islam.

Thanks, no more today.

Please feel free to ask any questions.
Good wishes to you-

Regards
Dr. M
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His reply

Hello Sir,
Thanks for the reply.

I am physically blind. In Canada, after one loses a certain amount of their vision they are termed legally blind. I don't see anything with my left eye and it is 20/200 in the left, that is, one tenth of the normal vision.

I know that pray and reading the Qur'an in not Islam but those were some of the factors for the loss of belief in your god.

I had done a lot of research to arrive at my current beliefs. Some of those include the English version of the Qur'an translated by three different people from three different countries. I also read some Hadith materials and articles written by Islamic and non-Islamic Scholars.
There's a lot of hypocritical people of the Islamic faith in the world, and personally I did not want to be affiliated with them.

I think the research in this kind of matter usually occurs in ways; 1) One has the question and is looking for answer, or 2) One has the answer set in their mind and just looking for the question that will click into right place. I asked a lot of questions, and so far no one has been able to give me any believable answers. All they say is "When you grow up, you will understand that you are wrong and that Islam is the right path of life.", and things in that context. The amount of research I've done is huge, and I don't think that all of it can be produced in any email.

Just by observing the world and surrounding around me, I came to the conclusion that I am an Atheist.

Religion was invented by man kind to explain the things that they were not able to explain. 99% of the so called religious people are hypocritical as they just need a escape goat to blame all their misfortunes on. They are either incapable or unwilling to take the responsibility of their own actions.

You mentioned that true religion is for human being and humanity.
I don't need to follow any religious based rules, regulations, dos and don'ts. I know that I am a good person because I follow my own set of principles which were and are derived from moral teachings and experiences. I do not need a book that written over 100 years after Muhammad's death, that's about 1400 years back. It cannot be authenticated that it is what he actually said. And don't even get me started about Muhammad because from my perspective he was a really, really bad human being. The only good thing about him was that he was a great leader and political figure of that era and today, which does not mean that I agree with his teachings.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

Regards,
S
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My reply

Hello Mr. S,
Thanks for the reply.

There is a similarity between you and me. According to Canadian point of view I am also a legally blind person. My right eye vision is very poor (-16) & left eye vision (-6.5). About … years back when I completed my HSC (Higher secondary school certificate exam.) & got chance for MBBS course, one of the rewound eye specialists of our country advised me not to continue my course, which hurt my heart. It is my ambition in life to be a doctor. So, I took the challenge & never look back. I tried my best in a different way according to my ability & capacity. After passing MBBS, I also completed post graduation. I never lose my faith on Allah. Now I am serving for the humanity not only to cure physical illness, but also for mental & social well beings. I am working in a fully computerized Medical centre. So, till now I am working with computer for about 8 hours in the centre & extra 4 hours for my personal reading & writing through internet.

Like the others, Allah has donated me the wisdom & conscience, but this is not sufficient to differentiate between wrong & right all the time. We need a guidance which is devoid of error, always very rigid against injustice & serves for the justice. This is the glorious everlasting Al-Qur’an. I never accept any ideology even so called Hadiths not related or matched with the spirit of Holy Qur’an.

You said that there are a lot of hypocritical people of the Islamic faith in the world, and personally I did not want to be affiliated with them.

I know it very well & me always against those misguided groups. When I was in your age, I also suffered from this kind of problems. But at present according to me there are a lot of hypocritical people not only in Islamic faith, but in other religious faiths & even in Atheism also and personally I never want to be affiliated with them.

You said, ”Religion was invented by mankind to explain the things that they were not able to explain. 99% of the so called religious people are hypocritical as they just need a escape goat to blame all their misfortunes on. They are either incapable or unwilling to take the responsibility of their own actions”.

No my dear, true religion was sent down for mankind by our creator Allah. All other ideology invented by mankind is not 100%, nor even 60% correct. You may say that 99% or may be 99.5% or even 100% of the so called religious people are hypocritical & so & so. You have come in to intimacy with how many Muslims, I don’t know. But the % you are guising is not true in case of all Muslims in the world at all. You have collected wrong information from wrong persons & sites.

You said that Al-Qur’an written over 100 years after Muhammad's death.

This is totally wrong information. It was not only written by the selected followers of Prophet Muhammad (sw) but also committed to memory by most of the followers of his time. After the death of our beloved Prophet (sw), 1rst Khalifa Abu Bakar (rw) formed a committee & ordered to collect all the original written copies of Al-Quran, which was also verified by the followers who memorized the Qur’an. 3rd Khalifa Uthman (rw) took action to gather together those original written copies of Al-Quran as book form.

According to your perspective (1) our beloved prophet Muhammad (sw) was a really, really bad human being (nowjubillah). But you also mentioned that the only good thing about him is that (2) he (sw) is a great leader and political figure of that era and today.

That means you are facing the problem of double standard of thinking. Your second view is correct. Not only that prophet Muhammad (sw) is really, really good human being of all the time. If you want to overcome your crisis of bad thinking about him (sw), you should try to realize the spirit & light of the Qur’an as a hole. Everybody even person who declared himself as a muslim will fail to get the right path by partial assumption of this supernatural Holy Book.

As a well wisher, my advice about your marriage is that if you finally set up your mind as an Atheist, it will be better for you to choose your life partner of same belief.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

Regards,
Dr. M
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His reply

Hello Sir,

Thanks for the reply.

I understand that we both have completely different perspectives in life and faith apart from that one similarity.

I respect you and your faith. Whenever I talk about religion, I talk with respect and accountability to the person following their respective faith. I can talk about how much ever I want about the religion itself but while doing that I try to maintain a distance from the person who's following that faith, so, not to hurt them emotionally.

I get the feeling that you are getting offended by what I am saying about your faith. There are millions of individuals who are professionals in their field and they are following their respective faiths.

I have a mind set for Atheism because I don't want tons of rules and regulations clouding my judgement about the things in my life.

I had done a lot of research but currently not doing any because of the lack of leisure time. Apart from getting ready to start College in September, I am also an amateur Photographer, Webmaster, Web Developer, Web Designer, Search Engine Optimizer, Chef, and T-Shirt Design Designer. I am also in the middle of starting my own Custom T-Shirt Design and Printing Business for which I have already spent in Bangladeshi Currency TK 150000... Right now I am learning and developing a few websites too.

We can continue our discussion if you would like to but I would want to stop the discussion regarding religion as it is a never-ending debate.

Please feel to ask or say anything.

Regards,
S
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My reply

Hello Mr. S,

Thanks for the reply.

You follow your faith & path & enjoy your life as much as you like.

We can continue our discussion about any matter related to a meaningful & peaceful life & I would also want to continue the discussion regarding religion as it is an important part of my life, if you would like to.

You are a busy man. So, I don’t want to waste your valuable time by saying this & that unnecessarily.

I wish you happy & eventful long life.

Regards
Dr. M
....................................সমাপ্ত