Maybe many of the passionate Awami League supporters can already read my thoughts. Those who once risked their lives and suffered for Awami-cause. Talking about sufferings, the greatest suffering I been through was unable to have an erection for almost 6-7 months as I was forced to urinate in an electrified metal pot during operation "Clean heart" despite not having any criminal record. My only crime was- a BCL front-liner. Well, have no illusion my erection is completely all right now.

Maybe Awami League doorway is slammed-shut, sealed-tight for people like us as we reckon from what we have felt in the last few years. Or maybe that's not entirely true. Some leaders within the power circle may still be counting on us. Expecting and wondering we'd turn around, make a stand and speak up.
Maybe or apparently most of the current Awami League leaders blinded by power and can't feel our thoughts. can't hear us. That doesn't matter. Then again, it does- more than anything. After all, we're Awami. We'll always be. We never expect to declare our allegiance to another ideology. Never be able to vote for another symbol except the Boat. None would even believe us even if we managed to do so. And we never want to.

We're so dangerously connected to Awami League by birth that it almost like a dependency. We're even dependent on Awami League when it is almost dead, rotten and stinky. Its madness. Apparently we're chasing a ghost- a ghost from the legend. Even abandoned by the party we still wish to be a part of it. Every moment- everyday. Well, not quite. It has been taken so far away from us that it is almost out of our reach. We can not cope with the new-order. And to the new-order, people like us are the " Untouchable clan" holding them back from power And ambition.

They could have just talked to us. Allowed us a little room just to talk. And maybe, just maybe they could have just listened to us or at least pretend to listen. I wish some of our kind were there in the leadership rank just to remind those perpetrators that how morally bankrupt the party has become. How the root level faithfuls are suffering from their new yes-man Jamat-BNP recruits. Suffering because of their greed, incompetency and lack of commitment towards Awami-cause.

I wish true self of Seikh Hasina would prevail just to wipe away the events that swept Awami league so far away from its true nature and get it back to its true faithfuls- alive, idealistic and engaged, to cherish and to be cherished.