Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight .

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Question: What is the full form of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)


Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
DUMISANI bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

============ ========= ========= ======
DUMISANI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
DUMISANI: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===
DUMISANI: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
DUMISANI : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
DUMISANI : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
DUMISANI : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
DUMISANI : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
DUMISANI : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
DUMISANI complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
DUMISANI : 'I was watching TV news...'

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
DUMISANI comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize DUMISANI in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once DUMISANI was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
DUMISANI in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
DUMISANI : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
DUMISANI - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
DUMISANI : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
DUMISANI told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
DUMISANI : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'