অনুগ্রহ করে অপেক্ষা করুন। ছবি আটো ইন্সার্ট হবে।
যাইহোক, afrter watching the film i am feeling a lot Bengali than before. I will have to start and finish the rest of the writing after I come home from work tonight. It made me think why should I live and why should I not, how Should I, and How should I not. It is indeed very puzzling and scary at the same time.
I dont think there are any set patterns or parameter or templates to mold our life into a better shape!! I am still looking for the answer
...Life goes on.. and has never been more truthful. When I look at myself, my life, my Live..Now I see what It is. Shouldn't say I see better I shall say I can probably figure out what i can see or want to see in such a way.
What happens to us with time?? or as time goes on.. we grow up, we meant to be wiser and more reasonably understandable. Although a large number of us do get wider in terms of size shape and wisdom.hah..hah We long to be free and independent want to do what we like or like to do what we want. Desire and demands starts racing each-other against time leaving relationships, memories, bonds far far away behind. we are like a full cup wants to be more filled with new things we desire and need, getting rid off things we should morally keep.
It has been such a long time I had a thought provoking session like this.. what tells I am getting older.
As an workaholic I have time like this not so often and although it is quite nostalgic and dull, not fun at all but it is full of souls, flashing back memories like they appear in the films…sometime black and white, less colorful yet very very meaningful. Going to the school for the first time holding my parents' hands.. I didn't let my parents leave me alone in the school for first few weeks at least. বাবার হাত ধরে বাজারে যাওয়া, হাওয়াই িমঠাই খাবার জন্্ বায়না fighting with the neighbor kids..asking 100s of qs all the time, discretely drink tea with the uncles…
but where is that time gone? Where is my dad, where is my mom? Where am I? Now I have another person very important my wife, the love of my life, who I haven't seen in last 5 months..sometime it feels like “wish I had a refresh button” to freshen up the golden memories with the people, places, smells, tastes, worries, angers and so on.
Life was ever so great when young. Never had to worry about the bills, payments, washing clothes maintaining family etc.etc. Achieved more freedom and independence but still sometime
I feel like I am trapped in a massive cage of rules and restrictions, limitations and can’t do’s or shouldn't do’s. But I have no one to blame. I just want to be free.
I want to fly, I want to run ..I want to scream loud, I don’t want to get older although I want to have at least 4 kids.
I want to go to the peak of “Orest Head” with my Nii
I want to go out with my mom to tell her how much I missed her and how much I miss baba.
I am asking myself now what is going to happen to the stuff I wanted yesterday or may be before? Do I still want the flashes and luxuries of life? Don’t I still want to earn a lot of money by becoming a successful entrepreneur ?
I don’t know.
But I think I should at least try once if I become successful.
I really admire Ben, Mr. Ben Norman a retired 1970s jeweller, collector, photographer and auctioneer. I met him while helping him selling his Flat to relocate. His wife passed away few years now, his only daughter lives in Portsmouth. He lives himself in his very neat and tidy flat in Haringey. He is selling his flat so that, he can enjoy life, enjoy freedom, pursue his interests. He wants to buy a mobile home and drive around the borders & cities taking pictures. Wish I could join him.
To be continued…..
সর্বশেষ এডিট : ১৮ ই ডিসেম্বর, ২০১০ সকাল ৭:০৭
